An MFA candidate in poetry at the University of Notre Dame. Vegetarian, liberal, animal lover, reader, traveler, poet. . I live with my boyfriend and our cats
in Ann Arbor, MI.
"I think every woman at one point or another in their life has been called a bitch. For a long time I had a real problem with that word, I didn’t like it and I thought it was derogatory. But I’ve gotten to a place now where I’ve made a lot of peace with it. It’s been so overused and made to seem so derogatory towards woman that I’ve adapted it into an empowering feeling for myself. If I’m a bitch then I’m a bitch, if that’s what an assertive woman is to you. So I’ve sort of adapted it as a badge of honor."
I’m down with being called a bitch.
Check out the contrast between these search results. Not a single “loser”, “easy”, “desperate”, “stupid”, “scum” or similar insult in the search results for fathers.
Why, society, are single fathers so often seen with sympathy and admiration, yet single mothers are painted as a washed-up, disgusting strain on the system?
This is fucked.
I know this is rhetorical, but we know the reason.
Motherhood is not valued in this country, it’s demanded. We have people fighting tooth and nail against abortion, birth control, and then any social program that helps poor mothers. If the world sees you as a woman, you are expected to desire, birth, and raise children, and if you don’t do that, or you do it while poor, or single, or not white, you’re not only failing as a woman but as a mother.
But men, they don’t get defined by their reproductive abilities! They get to be multi-dimensional! And if they spare an occasional thought for the children they brought into the world, it’s a cherry on top of their identity as a person.
Women don’t get the luxury of existing as people outside of parenting, even in 2013. And until we do, this is the shit we’ll be dealing with.
"Motherhood is not valued in this country, it’s demanded."
Bring consent out of the bedroom. I think part of the reason we have trouble drawing the line “it’s not okay to force someone into sexual activity” is that in many ways, forcing people to do things is part of our culture in general. Cut that shit out of your life. If someone doesn’t want to go to a party, try a new food, get up and dance, make small talk at the lunchtable—that’s their right. Stop the “aww c’mon” and “just this once” and the games where you playfully force someone to play along. Accept that no means no—all the time.
it’s especially important to practice this with KIDS. Kids need to know it’s ok to say no to giving auntie a hug and kiss. it’s ok to say no to getting up on stage at a children’s show or activity. it’s ok to say no. please teach your children this!
The cyber mob that is still attacking Sarkeesian and Park is the virtual embodiment of patriarchy’s crowdsourced police; we should stop treating it like the weather — uncontrollable, if predictable; to be endured, not altered. To simply slough off responsibility and say, as some have, that “other” people, not “Colbert fans,” are attacking Park is to genuflect to the crowd and deny your own moral agency even as you attempt to demand an outspoken woman of color embody it for you.